PRAGMA

What’s this mysterious thing called “unconditional love”?

Have you ever felt a moment when you were absolutely present? Maybe you sat outside in the park on a sunny day, the wind is playing with the leaves on the trees, and you feel the warmth of the sun rays and the refreshing breeze on your skin.

You took a deep breath in and you smelled the grass, nature, the freshness of the day.

At that moment, nothing else mattered. No worries. No doubts. No anxiety. No fears.

In this very moment, you felt unconditional love.

You knew that you were safe. That everything would be fine in the end, no matter what was on your mind before.

Perhaps you were having thoughts about your relationship, your family, your job, money. And you got worried. But those thoughts dissolved in the presence that you felt in that moment.

Unconditional Love starts within

Nothing from the outside world can implement that feeling of unconditional love within you. It is already there. You just have to find it.

Yes, I know it can be hard. When you’re caught up in the rat race, feelings of worry, fears, anxiety, maybe you’re not in the place in your life where you’d like to be. And that’s alright.

It takes courage to open up to unconditional love.

It’s about yourself

No one else can love you as much as you can love yourself. Problem is that most people don’t know how to love themselves. They wait for gratification from the outside, from others. Which puts them in a toxic dependency.

Imagine someone who is constantly looking for something or someone else to make them feel good about themselves. Why would you need something external to embrace your inner beauty?

Important Differences

Now, there are very important differences between unconditional love, conditional love and personal boundaries.

Just because you have tapped into your unconditional love does not mean that you are a doormat or naive. On the contrary.

Once you have discovered your unconditional love, you have become immune to external factors trying to disturb your inner peace.

In a relationship, it is essential for you to know these differences. You want to set healthy boundaries, your own standards. 

How to Practice Unconditional Love

Start accepting yourself

Easier said than done, isn’t it? However, it is so essential to embrace who you are with all your heart and soul.

It doesn’t matter if you are unhappy with your body, your life, your relationship. Start accepting yourself as you are, where you are.

A great way to start is to make a list every morning and jot down at least 3 things that you are absolutely grateful for.

Make this list about yourself, such as:

I’m grateful for my strong will, my creativity, my humour, my eyes, my hair.

Meditate

Meditation is a wonderful way to keep negative thoughts out of your mind. Or at least accept them when they come, and let them go.

Start with guided meditations, e.g. on Youtube or Insight Timer app. There are even great meditations on Apple Music or Spotify.

Take 5-10 minutes every morning or before you go to sleep. Even fall asleep with a meditation.

Treat yourself

So important that you know that you are precious and you are allowed to treat yourself. Maybe a nice hot bath, sports, working out, a walk through the park, taking time for yourself, taking time off and being alone, a shopping spree, making music. Whatever you feel you deserve, give it to you in abundance. 

You deserve it.

Forgive yourself (and others)

If you are holding grudges right now, it’s time to forgive yourself and others. Nothing matters what happened in the past. It is what it is. Had you known better, you’d have done better.

Accept the current situation you’re in and switch your feelings from guilt and blame to gratitude.

Ho’oponopono is a great way to practice forgiveness:

- I love you

- I’m sorry

- Please forgive me

- Thank you

Don’t take things personally

When you stop taking things personally - even the things that are indeed personal - you free yourself from the chains of ego and outside conditions. Nothing in life is personal. Try to detach yourself from anything that happens around you and stay centred.

Everyone is fighting their own demons and battles. Once understood and accepted, nothing can get you upset.